My Dear Son,

The day that you came into my life, you came with such a whirlwind, that I knew it was changed forever.  But my life being changed forever isn't that bad, so long as you're in it.  Today is a day to celebrate all mothers.  Celebrating it for 25 years for my mom, it's now a bit strange to be celebrating it for myself.  You fill my heart with such joy, and you'll probably never understand how deep the love I have for you goes.

This day, though, after hearing you stop crying when your daddy came and got you out of your crib, brought a flood of happiness to my heart.  We had 'breakfast in bed' together... you're snoozing again, and will for a little bit longer.  But I have a feeling that today is going to be a good day for you and me.  You don't understand the concept of Mother's Day just yet, but all the same, you make me feel so very special everyday when you light up as soon as you see me in the morning.

I love you, Gavin.

All my heart,
Mama

From GAVIN - PORTRAITS - NEWBORN

Gavin!  You're four months old!!  When did you all the sudden decide that you were going to be such a big boy and no longer mama's baby?  Not even so much as a memo from you warning me about this little developmental leap coming out of you.

Lately, you've almost gotten this whole sitting by yourself thing down.  You do really well in your Lionheart green chair, you also do sit by yourself, bracing in the front with your hands, in your crib.  I can pull you into a full sit!  Holy cow!  You're still a smidge wobbly, but you're getting it, and you're loving it.  You got a quick taste of independence and you're not letting go one bit.  You're getting to be such a big boy!

We took you for your four month well check up this past Tuesday.  The moment I put you on the table, you INSTANTLY remembered the paper!  Honey, by the time the visit was over, the paper was wrinkled beyond recognition and TORN.  You wound up tearing the paper.  But you still think that the paper on the table is just the coolest thing ever, and wriggle and wiggle all over it.  You did good getting measured, and we were taking bets on your weight.  You weighed in at 16 pounds, 11 ounces, and you were 27 inches long.  You're in the 95th percentile for boys your age.  You always get remarks on how big you are, but seeing it in numbers makes it all the more remarkable.  Once the nurses left, and we were on our own until Dr Miles arrived, you decided that you really liked the way your voice echoed at certain pitches in the room - and then figured that you would give everyone in the entire office a treat to your highest pitched scream.  Ah well.  But when Dr Miles came in... you decided you'd show off all your neatest tricks.  You not only held up your head and chest, but your legs at the same time.  You've got some abs, kiddo!  But you whipped your head around, smiled your biggest smile, and hammed it up big time for the doc.  I mentioned to her that I was worried about your rolling over, and before I finished my sentence, you were on you back, grinning up at me.  Go ahead, make a fool out of your mama.  You were having such a big ole time while she was checking you out.  She made you smile such big grins.  She mentioned that you are perfect for your age as far as your motor skills go, and with your babbles, razzes, and grins, you're on target for your mental development as well.  I was never more proud of you. 

Then, as she was handing off suggestions for getting the vinegar odor out of your poo, she was off to her next appointment.  And you decided right then and there to throw a HUGE tantrum.  I understand it was lunch time, but buddy!  You really ought to know that I'm not going to let that little boy starve.

Last Saturday, you got to visit Mark Brunell!  This won't be a big deal to you later in your life, but I remember when he was the first quarterback for our hometown NFL team.  He signed your onesie and was just a super nice guy.  He said that it's been a long time since he's held one of these... meaning you.  It was just a neat moment to be had.

You're blowing raspberries like crazy!  The Sunday after your Daddy's birthday, we were out with the Grandparents Williams, and Daddy looked at you and blew a wet raspberry your way.  In about two seconds, you returned the favor and have been blowing them ever since.  You're all drool buckets, so we keep bibs on you all the time because of it.  But you have loads of fun between those and sticking your fingers in your mouth.  You're handling all this teething stuffs well.  Though, I'm still waiting on the other shoe to drop.

You entertain yourself pretty well, though as I'm in the middle of this sentence, you're throwing a fit over being left in your playpen to your own devices.  You love the Jumperoo and still can [barely] fit in your bouncy seat on the kitchen table.  While you're in the Jumperoo, you watch the Your Baby Can Read dvd twice a day.  You seem to enjoy it, and I'll be interested to see what develops with this system.  I'm really hoping to teach you language during these most critical brain development years.  I don't expect you to be reading War and Peace in a week, but I'm still excited to see you raise your arms when you see "arms up".

My first Mother's Day is coming up, and my dear, you are the best gift that I can think of.  Your drooly chin, your biggest grin, kissing those stuffed cheeks.... you make my heart melt you big flirt.

Love,
Mama

Oh Gav!!  You had such a great trip to Washington DC last week!!  You were a total gem to be around the entire week; eventhough you spent most of your days in your car seat.

It all started last Monday night, when we headed over to Grandparents Crawley's house to stay the night.  We left early in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday at 4:30am.  You were wide awake when we put you in the car.  We made it quite aways before our first stop for breakfast at a Cracker Barrel.  You had milk.  I had pancakes.

You watched a Baby Einstein dvd on the way up.  You played with some toys, but mostly, you slept.  You woke up to eat, you woke up to let us know you were up, but other than that.... you were zonked out so long as we stayed moving.  We drove through lots of rain and storms the whole way up.  At every stop, the weather turned colder and colder.

We arrived in Maryland, where I was driving the final couple hours, fourteen hours later.  I even got to drive the beltway!  Piece of cake.  Haha.  We wound up at Aunt Theresa's apartment, where you were REALLY content to lay on the floor while we ate dinner.  You got your first tub bath that night, too.  I had to bathe you.  You were way overdue for one of those, and we didn't have time to give you one before we left.  But you were due to eat, and instead, you rolled around on your floor gym and was just happy to be stretching out and being a baby.  Finally we fed you after we ate and fellowshipped with Theresa's roommates, and planned what we were to do the next day.

You did me proud and slept all the way through the night on your first hotel stay.  I was worried that the change in environment might disrupt that.  Nope.  You did just great in the pack and play.

The weather was rainy and very chilly our first day.  We drove all over DC trying to decide what to do in this miserable weather.  We wound up eating at a pizza parlor where you promptly peed all down the front of me while I was burping you.  First time for everything.  I suppose you just were not all about what I had dressed you in.  We went to the National Aquarium.  It wasn't much to speak of, but what tanks we held you up on front of, you were very interested in.  Plus, it kept you out of the rain.  You got a stuffed seahorse, book, and a burp cloth from your grandparents while we were there.

After sitting down for a bit for some frozen yogurt, I left you with your grandparents while Theresa and I braved the wet cold and did a bit of siteseeing.  We went and saw the monument, the capitol building, the national mall, and then went to the old post office clock/bell tower where we overlooked all of DC.  We went back to to pick you up and subsequently call it a day.  Theresa stayed the night with us that night and hung out.  While the grandparents went out to eat together, Theresa and I stayed and ordered in.  We waited an eternity for thai food!  In the meantime, she made you giggle for the very first time!  She blew raspberries on your bare feet while you giggled over and over again.  It was the cutest sound you have ever made.  I have yet to be able to have you repeat it.

The next day, Theresa picked us up, and we dropped her off for work while there was sightseeing to be done.  We saw SO much!!  The FDR memorial, Jefferson memorial, Washington monument, the WWII memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, Korea and Vietnam memorials, the Constitutional Signers monument, and back to the national mall to pick up Theresa for dinner that night at Piratz Tavern.  FDR was an amazing memorial.  You were able to sit on the bronze statue's lap.  You also nursed at this memorial under a cherry blossom tree in full bloom.  I really enjoyed walking around that memorial with you.  It was something to see, and to have it open access for all disabilities made it extra special.  The Jefferson memorial was inspiring.  An incredible man, and someone to look up to, his memorial reminded me of what freedom is about.  The amount of knowledge and intricate vocabulary just made this memorial breathtaking once you reached the rotunda where his statue is kept, surrounded by some of the most thought provoking things he authored.  The Lincoln memorial was all I expected it to be.  It was interesting to read his address, and see such a large image of him, preserved for all time.  WWII memorial was bittersweet.  It was gracefully done and done very well.  The Korea and Vietnam walls brought out a lot of emotion from me.  They were very somber experiences, and easily reminded me that freedom is not free.  The Constitutional Gardens were not maintained at all in recent months.  But the monument itself still stood.  There were several blocks of granite arranged in a semi circle; on top was the signature in gold leaf, then below in plain text was the name, the occupation and where they were from.  This was done for each of the signers of the constitution.  One of the out of the way monuments that turned out to be really neat.

The second day brought about Arlington.  We spent the entire day going through this hallowed ground.  We watched the changing of the guard of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in reverence and silence.  We toured the JFK memorial.  Right after that, we sat down to nurse you on the exit steps, and then we saw horses down the way.  As soon as I realized what those horses were pulling, I hushed some teenagers standing near us, then I stood up with you in my arms, and stood in respect of the flag draped coffin that was being pulled in front of us.  It was pulled by a team of six horses.  Three were unmanned, though I'm not sure why.  The flag was covered by a black shroud as it passed.  It was a humbling experience that brought tears to my eyes.  For a moment, time stood still and all I could hear was the clapping of horse shoes along the pavement.

We then toured the Civil War Unknowns memorial, as well as Robert E. Lee's Arlington House and memorial.  It was a lot of walking.

Though we were beat, we still wanted a particular souvenier before we left.  It was a replica of the Washington Monument carved out of a mineral and polished.  Only available at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.  Driving there was going to be impossible with the rush hour traffic.  So we hopped out just after the Reflecting Pool and briskly walked, my mom and I, to the Smithsonian.  We made it to the American History museum, thinking it would have the same one in their gift shop, at 5:12.  They were closing early for a special event.  15 minutes and the Natural History museum would be closing it's doors too (we didn't know at the time that it would be open until 7:30).  So we RAN to the other museum.  Three or four blocks I think.  But we hoofed it there.  And we made it!!  We got our souvenier, then went to Union Station for some browsing. 

After feeling very beat, we did some driving to Washington Square to eat, but it was too crowded and noisy to stay.  So we went back to the hotel where Grandpa and Theresa brought dinner back to Grandma and I.

The next day was bittersweet.  We took Theresa to work, but had to go home after that.  We tried to stop at the Archives to see the Constition, but the wait was unbearable.  So we wound up changing you on the steps since you insisted on not wearing what I dressed you in that morning.  It made for a cute picture for sure.

We stopped just four hours shy of home because Grandma felt really bad for you being in your car seat for that long.  We stayed the night in a GREAT hotel in Manning.  You didn't sleep through the whole night, but it was because you were sleeping with me.  The next day, we made it all the way home by 2pm, and by 4pm, you were back in your pack and play getting hugs from your daddy and kisses from your dogs.

It was a wonderful trip, and I was so happy to have you go along to share it.  You'll definitely experience it later in your life, but for me to get to experience for the first time and to have you there with me, well, it was really good. 

Kiddo, you had the worst church day ever that day.  I don't know what was up.  Didn't like your dress shirt?  Hated the pants?  Shoes??  I don't know.  But going to church with you today.... oye.  That was the worst.  I have never had to stand up and hold you through service like that.  You just weren't having any of it.  I'd sit, you'd cry.  Even feeding you proved to be a bit of a challenge.  You were coming on and off; I guess because I was a bit tense.  I was wearing a dress that wasn't exactly nursing friendly, and so of course, because of all the people in the crying room, things were a bit modestly tense.  Couldn't keep you covered, you didn't want to be covered, had a hard time keeping ME covered.... just a royal mess.  One of the worst services with you.  Ever.  Hands down.

Rewinding though, waking up was a total breeze.  You greeted me with some of the most excited and cute little smiles I have ever seen.  I took you out of your crib, changed out that wet diaper, fed you, then presented you with your very first Easter basket.  It had a wooden caterpillar (who knows, you might still have it by the time you get around to reading this), a wooden barn that had click clack doors that revealed animals underneath, a pair of really cute suede shoes (that you wore to church), and it all came in a cute little paper bag that you found more interest in than the toys and plastic eggs.  But you did humor me and smile for a few pictures while kicking the stew out of the bag.  I was so happy for you to have something that made you so amused.

After the aforementioned church service, we took you out to Grandparents Crawley house and had Grandparents Kent meet us over there for a big Easter dinner/lunch.  Aunt Cathy and Uncle Joe also came over to hang out.  We had pulled pork that I made the night before and morning of, mashed potatoes, green beans, mac and cheese, angel food cake with cherry topping, and a bunny cake.  It was really good.  You were, of course, cranky all day.  You wanted nothing to do with nobody.  Didn't matter who held you.  Your E-ma managed to put you to sleep briefly, but you woke up with the fury of a hellfire.  You wanted nothing to do with pictures, or your first Easter outfit.

Outside of your attitude issues, you seemingly had a pretty good first Easter.  I forsee quite a few more great ones in your future.

Dear Gavin,

Oh my son!  What a busy month you have had!!  Full of developmental leaps, and warm smiles that are more and more forthcoming.  I'm sitting here on the eve of your first Easter, and my, recounting all the amazing things you and I have been up to recently.

Your father and I celebrated our fourth anniversary on the ninth.  The first wedding anniversary that we have observed as parents.  We didn't do a whole lot, but we definitely slowed down enough to give each other warm wishes and let each other know that without the other, none of what we have accomplished as people would be possible.  I was more than grateful to look back on the past seven years since we have met and secure the feeling of fondness of being his wife, as well as the pride of being his son's mother.  That would be you, love.

Speaking of you, I have spent a great deal of time worrying.  I worry all the time over you and your future, however, this time, I have been worrying over vaccines and if we are doing the right thing.  There is a certain amount of speculation out there regarding vaccines and the link between them and autism.  There's also a lot of criticism regarding the certain schedule and it's aggressiveness, as well as the amount of aluminum that is in them.  I worry that you are the one in however many children that have a horrible reaction to them.  I worry that you are the rare case in which this vaccination would present the right environment for autism to present itself.  I worry about what happens if we don't vaccinate.  I worry what happens when we do.  Yes, I say when because we are indeed going to vaccinate you.  We decided as your parents to put them off until you are six months old so that we can get to know you better and allow for your personality to develop, just in case something bad wrong happens, we can identify it quickly.  Also to give your tiny body a chance at growing and better handling the viruses.  We also decided to modify the schedule so that you aren't receiving such an aggressive amount of them at one time.  I pray we are doing the right thing.

As of late, you are learning how to better roll over.  Since you did it once, you did it only twice more since.  You have had assistance with the other 30 times that we have practiced.  However, it seems that thanks to Auntie Jaime, I have learned how to better 'play' with you.  You really seem to enjoy it when I act like a total clown in front of you.  You're so close to giggling.  You get such a kick out of "Mama's gonna get him", "Peep-pie", "hiiiiiii!!!", and a ton of others.  Anything, really, that involves a goofy voice, and a big open mouthed smile.  You still have these crazy mood swings where you can go from happy to just melt down mode in all of 10 minutes.  But watching you while you're happy just melts my heart.  Our favorite place to play has gotten to be my bed.  It's big enough for you to roll around on, and allows me to sit with you rather than stand over you, like your playpen.  Speaking of, you have been reaching and grasping successfully at your toys hanging from your gym.  You are starting to investigate things by putting them in your mouth, and you're almost at the point of figuring out how to manipulate things with both hands.  You track things so well, and look at objects with such intensity while you challenge and observe your world.  I walked away from you in your playpen one day, only to come back and find you with a rattle that you found and picked up, rattling away, and once you caught sight of me, you gave me a raspberry.  You crack me up on a daily basis.  But that was the first time YOU found a toy and YOU picked it up.

Your cold is one hundred percent gone.  Your teething, however, remains.  We have you on teething tablets and BOY do those make such a difference in your demeanor.  If you do not get your tablets in a timely manner, you can be one cranky, upset, and miserable baby.  We are doing the best we can with helping you through this process.  Teething rings, frozen binkies, everything we can think of to help you, we're trying.  There are only a couple times a day when it really gets to you and you let me know all about it, but other than that, you handle adversity really well.

Grandma and Grandpa Crawley got us a Zoo Membership!!  Kiddo, that means that we can spend lots of time outdoors during the week, and lots of time with your friend, Zane.  You'll learn a lot about animals as you grow up, but I'm really excited about this gift.  It's going to give us lots to do during the summer.  Your first trip was on Friday afternoon with Jaime and Zane.  We had a great time.  You really enjoyed it when we stopped at the Kimodo Dragon exhibit, at a little alcove with tables and chairs in the shade for lunch.  You not only got to go barefoot after that, but you got a quick slathering of sunscreen, too.  I put you in your car seat on one of the chairs, and once you figured out you could kick your legs to get a little movement, you were ALL about it!!  All smiles and happy-happy coos... it was adorable.  We even stuffed you guys in one stroller for a photo op.  Turns out, you really didn't mind being squished in there with Zane.  You tolerated it, and even smiled a few times, for about five minutes or so before demanding to be unsquished.

We are doing a lot more with those two as of late, and hopefully we'll keep up the trend.  You seem to mimic a lot of what Zane has started developing, and mama is learning more on how to interact with you.  This is my first time around a baby for any length of time, and I suppose it's a lot of on the job training.  You'll have to forgive me if I don't seem very good at this at first.  I can mother with the best of them, but I never really went to clown school, I'm afraid.  But we're learning each other together, and I can honestly say that when you're upset, you really prefer my arms to cry it out and figure it all out in above all else.  That, and a binkie.

I love you son.  More and more each day.

Always,
Mama

First, thank you Auntie Susan for the get well wishes :)  He's been all smiles and talking to me all morning this morning.  In fact, he's in his bouncer, watching my every move.

Second, I got it confirmed from the pediatrician's office this morning that, yes, he does have a cold, and yes, he is teething.  Teething!  I can't believe it's time for that already... I was handed the names of two things to give him, one for the cold stuffs, and one for the teething stuffs.  Fun times ahead!

UPDATE

Gavin had two screaming/crying episodes today.  The poor boy was exhausted and so tired from fighting his cold that it just made him miserable.  And thus, right before I held him to sleep for his nap and bed time, he had a couple of screaming fits.  He produced a tiny amount of what I would call a tear during the one before his nap.  Poor little guy.  He's been sniffly all day, and his cries are so different sounding because of his sore throat.  Other than the sniffles/coughs/sneezes, he's mostly smiling and goo-goo-ing when he's awake.  But if it gets close to feeding or sleepy time, then he gets all miserable and starts to cry again.

Sigh.  I hope he feels well enough for family portraits on Saturday.

Not exactly a milestone that is joyous, but a milestone nonetheless.  Poor Gav woke up from his nap today all stuffy and sniffly.  He was also coughing, though he has been coughing for a couple weeks now, so that wasn't really a new symptom.  The incessant sneezing, however, was.

We took him on our run today and he was so pitiful.  Just looking up at us with his big blue eyes, his forlorn little face.  You could tell hims didn't feel good at all.  He goes from being all grins to this pitiful, sniffling little boy.  He's been sleeping more, trying to battle it.  I feel terrible for him.  I wish there was something more I could do to help him.

His appetite is up at least, and I was told to nurse, nurse, and nurse some more to help get him through it.

There's no fever yet, but I'm taking his temperature and keeping an eye on it.

I just put him down to sleep for the night... here's hoping he gets to feeling right as rain soon.  He's too cute to be sich*.

*sich - "sick" as we call it in our family.  Matt made a book when he was a small boy, and one of the adorable words used was "sich" instead of the word "sick".  So... it kind of stuck.

Guess who just rolled over for the first time today??  Yep!!  I propped him up on a pillow on my bed for tummy time as per usual.  Unlike usual though, he held himself up for a longer time than normal.  Then back to usual, he started to whine and fuss because he hates it.  I turn around for a moment to get ready, look back and he has himself on his side on the bed!  WOW!!  I was stoked!!  We've been waiting on this moment for a good while....

So he gets himself all the way over with some cheering on from mom and continues to protest that I made him do it at all, lol.

I wait a few moments after calling Matt and mom to brag on our boy, then I plant kisses all over his cheeks, and stick him back on his belly on the pillow again to see if it was just a fluke.

Nope!  He had this figured out and did it again at a faster pace!  YAY!!!

We're going to do these a few more times this afternoon to give him a break from all the hard work, but I'm so proud of him!  Of course, this is going to mean a whole new thought process on where I can leave him...... boy oh boy he's growing up so fast.

Gavin is sleeping soundly through his first lighting and thunderstorm.  It's supposed to go all through the night.  I think I'm more out of sorts about it than he is; I hate thunderstorms.  But there he is... snoozing away.